We haven’t known each other long, you and I. Just this summer I noticed that my old alarm clock was losing a few minutes a week and since it was a good ten years or so old, I figured it was time for a new one. I found you and fell instantly in love. Nice big speakers, a port for my iPod. Even though your LED display is so bright I have to put something in front of it to sleep, I think we’ve gotten along well. Don’t you agree?

So it is with heavy heart that I must write you about the incident we experienced last weekend.

One thing you’ve learned about me, Matt’s Alarm Clock, is my propensity for lateness. Curse your snooze button! (j/k) Well, the autumnal change from Daylight Saving Time is my one day of reprieve from that. On DST Day (as I like to call it) I can count on being on time for church for a change. Early, even.

Every year I look forward to turning my alarm clock back an hour and giggling as I fall asleep, resting assured that I’ll either get an extra hour of sleep or my internal clock will awaken me early in the morning.

And so it was this year. I changed your time, remembering to go back an hour (a common mistake). When I awoke, it wasn’t even 8:00 yet, so I lounged around for an hour and a half before getting ready for church. At 9:30, the time clearly indicated by your display, as I got ready for a shower I looked at my new cell phone and noticed that it showed 10:30.

Thinking that it hadn’t gotten the update from the tower, I turned it off, waited a few minutes, and turned it back on. Now it was 10:34. I checked the internet. 10:35. WHAT? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!?

It wasn’t until later in the day that I realized that you must set yourself for DST Day, and that you were two hours back instead of one, causing all sorts of confusion and frustration in my life. I was 30 minutes late because of your self-setting ‘feature’ that you didn’t bother to remind me about!!!

Consider yourself on notice, mister.

Just five more minutes,
Matt

It’s not often that I write to companies that sell freezer cakes, but I was at the grocer’s last week and saw something in the freezer section that I almost couldn’t believe. I’m talking, of course, about your Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites.

I just stood there for a moment, standing a little bit on tip-toe, mouth agape as I tried to process the taste sensation that must accompany such a wonderful confection. My hand started to shake and my knees buckled in anticipation as I opened the freezer and reached in to pick out my container of frozen joy.

They're better than you could ever dream.

That’s when I realized that there was more than one variety. You don’t just make original Cheesecake Bites. You also make Strawberry Cheesecake Bites and Chocolate Cheesecake Bites. That’s just ridiculous!

Well, Sara Lee, it’ll come as no surprise to you that I picked the Chocolate Cheesecake Bites. You’ve known me long enough to know that chocolate is my anti-drug. I took the container to the checkout area, and the cashier asked where I found them because she wanted to get some too. She took my money and I managed to drive home before I opened the container.

It’s at this point that I get a tad emotional. It’s not often that a food that could have been custom made just for me. It’s as if you knocked on the door of my dreams and found my best hopes and warmest fuzzies, and spun the glories that you found there into little bits of digestible heaven.

So thank you, Sara Lee. Thank you for creating the best food since God Himself sent manna from heaven. If you were here (and a dude), I would totally open mouth kiss you to within an inch of your life.

Never mind the saturated fats,
Matt